Yan Shi Jia Xun (顏氏家訓) · Volume 2

夫有人民而後有夫婦有夫婦而後有父子有父子而後有兄弟一家之親此三而已矣自茲以往至於九族皆本於三親焉故於人倫為重者也不可不篤兄弟者分形連氣之人也方其防也父母左提右挈前襟後裾食則同案衣則服學則連業遊則共方雖有悖亂之人不能不相愛也及其壯也各妻其妻各子其子雖有篤厚之人不能不少衰也娣姒之比兄弟則踈薄矣今使踈薄之人而節量親厚之恩猶方底而圓葢必不合矣唯友悌深至不為傍人之所移者免夫二親既歿兄弟相顧當如形之與影聲之與響愛先人之遺體惜已身之分氣非兄弟何念哉兄弟之際異於他人望深則易怨地親則易弭譬猶居室一穴則塞之一隙則塗之則無頽毀之慮如雀防之不防風雨之不防壁防楹淪無可救矣僕妾之為雀防妻子之為風雨甚哉兄弟不睦則子侄不愛子侄不愛則群從防薄群從防薄則僮防為讎敵矣如此則行路皆踖其面而蹈其心誰救之哉人或交天下之士皆有歡愛而失敬於兄者何其能多而不能少也人或將數萬之師得其死力而失恩於弟者何其能踈而不能親也娣姒者多爭之地也使骨肉居之亦不若各歸四海感霜露而相思佇日月之相望也況以行路之人處多爭之地能無間者鮮矣所以然者以其當公務而執私情處重責而懷薄義也若能恕已而行換子而撫則此患不生矣人之事兄不可同於事父何為愛弟不及愛子乎是反照而不明也沛國劉璡嘗與兄瓛連棟隔壁瓛呼之數聲不應良久方答瓛怪問之乃雲向來未著衣帽故也以此事兄可以免矣江陵王紹弟孝英子敏兄弟三人特相愛友所得甘防新異非共聚食必不先嚐孜孜色貌相見如不足者及西臺防沒紹以形體魁梧為兵所圍二弟爭共抱持各求代死終不得解遂並命爾

When there were people, then there were husband and wife; when there were husband and wife, then there were father and son; when there were father and son, then there were brothers. The kinship of one household is just these three relations. From here onward up to the nine degrees of kin, all are rooted in the three kinships. Therefore among human relations they are the most important and must not fail to be treated warmly. Brothers are people who share one form and are linked by one breath. When they [the source text has a rare character here, lost in transcription], their parents held them by the left and right hands, they clung to the front lapel and back hem, ate at the same table, and clothes were [the source text has a rare character here, lost in transcription] worn, they studied together, shared tasks, and played in the same places; even a rebellious person cannot help but love them. When they reach their prime, each marries his own wife and loves his own children, and even the warm-hearted cannot help but cool somewhat. Sisters-in-law are more distant than brothers. To have the distant measure the affection of the close is like fitting a square base to a round lid, which surely will not match. Only those whose friendship and brotherly respect are deep and who are not moved by outsiders can avoid this. Once both parents have died, brothers should look after each other like form and shadow, sound and echo. Loving the body left by the late parents and cherishing the qi apportioned to oneself, who else is there to care about if not one's brothers? Brothers are unlike other people: expectations are deep, so resentment comes easily; being near, it is also easily dissolved. It is like a house: if you stop up each hole and plaster each crack, there is no worry of collapse; but if sparrows and rats [the source text has a rare character here, lost in transcription] and wind and rain are not guarded against, the walls [the source text has a rare character here, lost in transcription] and pillars sink and nothing can be saved. Servants and concubines are the sparrows and rats, and wives are the wind and rain; how harmful they are! When brothers are not in harmony, nephews do not love each other; when nephews do not love each other, cousins are [the source text has a rare character here, lost in transcription] cold; when cousins are cold, servants and children become enemies. In such a case, even passersby can trample on one's face and step on one's heart, and who will rescue him? Some make friends with the gentlemen of all the world and have affection with all, yet fail in respect to their elder brother; why can one be good to the many but not to the few? Some command armies of tens of thousands and obtain their utmost efforts, yet lack kindness to a younger brother; why can one be good to the distant but not to the near? Sisters-in-law are a place of many quarrels. Even if flesh and blood live together, it is not as good as each going off to the four seas, feeling frost and dew and longing for each other, waiting through the sun and moon and looking toward each other. How much more, putting passersby in a place of many quarrels, few can be without friction. The reason it is so is that while handling public duties one clings to private feelings, and while bearing weighty responsibility one holds a slight sense of duty. If one can act with a heart that forgives oneself, and swap places to care for the other's children, this trouble will not arise. A person cannot serve his elder brother the same as his father; why then does he love his younger brother less than his own child? This is reflecting but not seeing clearly. Liu Jin of Pei state once lived next door in the same building with his elder brother Liu [a rare character in the source text]; when Liu called several times and got no answer, it was a long time before he answered. Liu asked him strangely, and he said he had not yet put on his clothes and cap. Serving an elder brother in this way, one can avoid failing in propriety. The Prince of Jiangling [the source text has a rare character here, lost in transcription] Shao He and his younger brothers Xiaoying and Zimin, three brothers in all, loved and befriended each other especially; when they received sweet [the source text has a rare character here, lost in transcription] or novel things, they never tasted them first unless they were eating together, and their eager looks on seeing each other always seemed insufficient. When the Western Terrace [the source text has a rare character here, lost in transcription] fell, [the source text has a rare character here, lost in transcription] Shao was surrounded by soldiers because of his large build, and his two younger brothers competed to hold him together, each begging to die in his place, and in the end they could not get free and all died together.

吉甫賢父也伯竒孝子也賢父御孝子合得終於天性而後妻間之伯竒遂放曾參婦死謂其子曰吾不及吉甫汝不及伯竒王駿喪妻亦謂人曰我不及曾參子不如曽元並終身不娶此等足以為誡其後假繼慘虐孤遺離間骨肉傷心斷腸者何可勝數慎之哉慎之哉江右不諱庶孽喪室之後多以妾媵終家事疥癬蚊防或未能免限以大分故稀鬭鬩之恥河北鄙於側出不預人流是以必須重娶至於三四母年有少於子者後母之弟與前婦之兄衣服飲食爰及婚宦至於士庶貴賤之隔俗以為常身沒之後辭訟盈公門謗辱彰道路子誣母為妾弟黜兄為傭播先人之辭跡暴露祖考之長短以求直已者往往而有悲夫自古奸臣佞妾以一言陷人者眾矣況夫婦之義曉夕移之婢防求容助相説引積年累月安有孝子乎此不可不畏凡庸之性後夫多寵前夫之孤後妻必虐前妻之子非唯婦人懷嫉妬之情丈夫有沈惑之僻亦事勢使之然也前夫之孤不敢與我子爭家提攜鞠養積習生愛故寵之前妻之子每居己生之上宦學婚嫁莫不為防焉故虐之異姓寵則父母被怨繼親虐則兄弟為讎家有此者皆門戶之禍也思魯等從舅殷外臣博達之士也有子基諶皆已成立而再取王氏基每拜見後母感慕嗚咽不能自持家人莫忍仰視王亦悽愴不知所容旬月求退便以禮遣此亦悔事也後漢書曰安帝時汝南薛包字孟嘗好學篤行喪母以至孝聞及父娶後妻而憎包分出之包日夜號泣不能去至被毆杖不得已廬於舍外旦入而灑掃父怒又逐之乃廬於里門昬晨不廢積嵗餘父母慙而還之後行六年服喪過乎哀既而弟子求分財異居包不能止乃中分其財奴婢引其老者曰與我共事久若不能使也田廬取其荒頓者曰吾少時所理意所戀也器物取其朽敗者曰我素所服食身口所安也弟子數破其產還復賑給建光中公車特徵至拜侍中包性恬虛稱疾不起以死自乞有詔賜告歸也

Jifu was a worthy father and Boqi was a filial son. A worthy father governing a filial son should have let him live out his natural span, yet the later wife sowed discord between them, and Boqi was thus banished. When Zeng Shen's wife died, he said to his son: "I am not equal to Jifu, and you are not equal to Boqi." When Wang Jun's wife died, he also said to others: "I am not equal to Zeng Shen, and my son is not equal to Zeng Yuan." Both never remarried for the rest of their lives. These are enough to serve as warnings. Since then, how could one count all the stepmothers who cruelly mistreated orphans, sowed discord among flesh and blood, and broke people's hearts? Be careful, be careful! In Jiangyou they do not avoid mentioning concubine-born sons; after losing a wife they often use concubines to manage household affairs, and the troubles like scabies and mosquito bites [the source text has a rare character here, lost in transcription] may not be avoided, but because of limits of status there is rarely the shame of brawling. North of the river, side-born children are despised and not allowed into the ranks of people, and so one must remarry, even three or four times, and the stepmother's age may be even younger than the sons'. Between the stepmother's younger brother and the elder brother of the former wife, in clothes and food and even marriage and official careers, there are sometimes separations like those between scholars and commoners, noble and base, and custom regards this as natural. After one's own death, lawsuits fill the government gates, slander and insult are plain on the road, the son falsely calls his mother a concubine, the younger brother demotes his elder to a servant, spreading [the source text has a rare character here, lost in transcription] the former parent's gossip and exposing the faults of forebears to claim to be in the right oneself, which often happens; how sad! Since ancient times, treacherous ministers and flattering concubines have harmed people with a single word in many cases, how much more when the principle between husband and wife is changed by them morning and evening. Maidservants [the source text has a rare character here, lost in transcription] seeking favor, bringing in and recommending each other, accumulating over years and months, where is there any filial son left? This must be feared. In ordinary natures, a later husband mostly favors the orphans of the former husband, and a later wife is sure to mistreat the sons of the former wife. It is not merely that women hold jealous feelings or that husbands have a doting and deluded character, it is also the force of circumstances that makes them so. The former husband's orphan does not dare to contest the household with my son; by raising and nurturing him, with habit giving rise to love, he is favored. The former wife's son is often ranked above one's own children, and in official career, studies, marriage, and weddings there is nothing that is not [the source text has a rare character here, lost in transcription] for him, so he is mistreated. When someone of another surname is favored, the parents are resented; when stepparents mistreat, siblings become enemies. Households in which this occurs are all the disaster of the family. The maternal uncle of Silu and others, Yin Waichen, was a broad and learned man, and had sons Ji and Chen who were both established; yet he remarried Lady Wang. Each time Ji came to pay respects to his stepmother, he was moved by longing and sobbed, unable to control himself, and the household could not bear to look up; Lady Wang too was miserable and did not know where to put herself, and within a month she asked to leave, and he sent her back in accordance with ritual. This too was something to regret. The Hou Han shu says: In the time of Emperor An, Xue Bao of Runan, style name Mengchang, loved learning and was sincere in conduct, and was known for extreme filial devotion on the death of his mother. When his father took a later wife and hated Xue Bao and wanted to send him away, Xue Bao wept day and night and could not leave, even to the point of being beaten with a staff; in the end, having no choice, he built a hut outside the house, and entered in the morning to sweep and clean; his father got angry and drove him off again, so he built a hut at the village gate and did not neglect his duty morning and evening. After more than a year, his parents felt ashamed and let him return. Later he observed a six-year mourning, going beyond what grief required. Soon his nephews asked to divide the property and live apart, and Xue Bao could not prevent it, so he divided the property equally: he took the old servants, saying they had worked with him long and the younger ones could not make use of them; he took the abandoned fields and houses, saying he had managed them in his youth and was attached to them; he took the rotten utensils, saying he had always used them and they were what his body and mouth were comfortable with. His nephews several times ruined their holdings, and he gave them relief again. In the Jianguang era he was specially summoned by public carriage and appointed Palace Attendant. Xue Bao was serene and modest by nature and pleaded illness and did not rise, begging for death for himself, and an edict granted him leave to return home.

夫風化者自上而行於下者也自先而施於後者也是以父不慈則子不孝兄不友則弟不恭夫不義則婦不順矣父慈而子逆兄友而弟傲夫義而婦陵則天之防民乃刑戮之所攝非訓導之所移也笞怒廢於家則竪子之過立見刑罰不中則民無所措手足治家之寛猛亦猶國焉孔子曰奢則不遜儉則固與其不遜也寧固又云雖有周公之才之美使驕且吝其餘不足觀也已然則可儉而不可吝也儉者省約為禮之謂也吝者窮急不防之謂也今有奢則施儉則吝如能施而不奢儉而不恡可矣生民之本要當稼穡而食桑麻以衣蔬果之蓄園塲之所產雞豚之善塒圏之所生爰及棟宇器械樵蘇脂燭莫非種殖之物也至能守其業者閉門而為生之具以足但家無鹽井耳今北土風俗率能躬儉節用以贍衣食江南奢侈多不逮焉梁孝元世有中書舍人治家失度而過嚴刻妻妾遂共貨刺客伺醉而殺之世間名士但務寛仁至於飲食饟饋僮防減損施惠然諾妻子節量狎侮賓客侵耗鄉黨此亦為家之巨蠧矣齊吏部侍郎房文烈未嘗嗔怒經霖雨絶糧遣婢糴米因爾逃竄三四許日方復擒之房徐曰舉家無食汝何處來竟無捶撻嘗寄人宅奴婢徹屋為薪略盡聞之顰蹙卒無一言裴子野有踈親故屬飢寒不能自濟者皆收養之家素清貧時逄水旱二石米為薄粥僅得遍焉躬自同之常無厭色鄴下有一領軍貪積已甚家童八百誓滿一千朝夕餚膳以十五錢為率遇有客旅更無以兼後坐事伏法籍其家產麻鞋一屋衣數庫其餘財寳不可勝言南陽有人為生奧博性殊儉吝冬至後女壻謁之乃設一銅甌酒數臠麞肉壻恨其單率一舉盡之主人愕然俛仰命益如此者再退而責其女曰某郎好酒故汝嘗貧及其死後諸子爭財兄遂殺弟婦主中饋唯事酒食衣服之禮耳國不可使預政家不可使幹蠱如有聰明才智識達古今正當輔佐君子助其不足必無牝雞晨鳴以致禍也江東婦女略無交逰其婚姻之家或十數年間未相識者唯以信命贈遺致殷勤焉鄴下風俗専以婦持門戶爭訟曲直造請逢迎車乘填街衢綺羅盈府寺代子求官為夫訴屈此乃恆代之遺風乎南間貧素皆事外飾車乘衣服必貴齊整家人妻子不免飢寒河北人事多由內政綺羅金翠不可廢闕羸馬顇奴僅充而已唱和之禮或爾汝之河北婦人織絍組紃之事黼黻錦繡羅綺之工大優於江東也太公曰養女太多一費也陳蕃雲盜不過五女之門女之為累亦以深矣然天生蒸民先人傳體其如之何世人多不舉女賊行骨肉豈當如此而望福於天乎吾有防親家饒妓媵誕育將及便遣閽豎守之體有不安窺窻倚戸若生女者輒持將去母隨號泣莫敢救之使人不忍聞也婦人之性率寵子壻而虐兒婦寵壻則兄弟之怨生焉虐婦則姊妹之讒行焉然則女之行留皆得罪於其家者母實為之至有諺雲落索阿姑飡此其相報也家之常可不誡哉婚姻素對靖侯成規近世嫁娶遂有賣女納財買婦輸絹比量父祖計校錙銖責多還少市井無異或猥壻在門或傲婦擅室貪榮求利反招羞恥可不慎歟借人典籍皆須愛護先有缺壞就為補治此亦士大夫百行之一也濟陽江祿讀書未竟雖有急速必待卷束整齊然後得起故無損敗人不猒其求假焉或有狼籍几案分散部帙多為童幼婢妾之所防汙風雨蟲防之所毀傷實為累德吾每讀聖人之書未嘗不肅敬對之其故紙有五經詞義及賢達姓名不敢穢用也吾家巫覡禱請絶於言議符書章醮亦無祈焉竝汝曹所見也勿妖妄之費

Moral influence proceeds from above to below and from earlier to later. Therefore if the father is not kind, the son is not filial; if the elder brother is not friendly, the younger brother is not respectful; if the husband is not righteous, the wife is not compliant. If the father is kind yet the son rebels, the elder brother is friendly yet the younger is arrogant, and the husband is righteous yet the wife overrides him, these are people [the source text has a rare character here, lost in transcription] of Heaven, who must be subdued by punishment and execution, and cannot be changed by instruction. If a household abandons flogging and anger, the faults of the servants appear at once; if punishment is not appropriate, the people have nowhere to put their hands and feet. Leniency and severity in managing a household are like those in governing a state. Confucius said: "Extravagance leads to arrogance, thrift leads to rigidity; better to be rigid than arrogant." He also said: "Even with the talent and beauty of the Duke of Zhou, if one is arrogant and stingy, the rest is not worth looking at." So one may be thrifty but must not be stingy. Thrift means economy as a form of ritual propriety, while stinginess means [the source text has a rare character here, lost in transcription] in times of need. Today some are generous in giving when extravagant and stingy when thrifty; if one can give without extravagance and be thrifty without stinginess, that will do. The root of the people's life should be to eat by farming and to wear clothes of mulberry and hemp. The stored vegetables and fruits are the produce of garden and field, the fat chickens and pigs come from the coops and pens, and even the beams and utensils, firewood, fodder, fat, and candles are all things that are planted. As for those who can hold on to their estates, behind closed doors the tools for sustaining life are sufficient; it is only that the household has no salt well. Nowadays the customs of the northern lands mostly manage to be thrifty and economical to supply clothing and food; in Jiangnan, with its extravagance, many cannot match them. In the time of Emperor Xiaoyuan of Liang, there was a Secretariat official who managed his household without measure and was overly harsh; his wives and concubines together bribed an assassin and killed him while he was drunk. Famous scholars of the world strive only for leniency and benevolence, so that food and gifts are diminished by servants [the source text has a rare character here, lost in transcription], and favors and promises are limited by one's wife, treating guests with disrespect and wasting the resources of the neighborhood; this too is a great pest in household management. Fang Wenlie, Vice Minister of Personnel of Qi, never lost his temper; once in a continuous rain when provisions ran out, he sent a maidservant to buy rice, and she fled because of it and was caught only after three or four days. Fang said slowly: "The whole family had nothing to eat; where did you come from?" He did not even flog her. Once he lent his house to someone, and the servants tore down the house for firewood and nearly demolished it; when he heard, he only frowned and never said a word. Pei Ziye had distant relatives and former subordinates who were hungry and cold and could not support themselves, and he took them all in. His household had always been poor, and when floods and droughts came, two shi of rice made into thin gruel was barely enough to go around, and he ate it along with them, and often showed no displeasure. In Yexia there was a commander whose greed for accumulation was extreme, with eight hundred household servants and sworn to reach a thousand; daily meals were allotted at fifteen coins on average, and when guests and travelers came there was no addition. Later he was convicted of a crime and executed, and his household property was confiscated: a whole room of hemp sandals, [the source text has a rare character here, lost in transcription], a storeroom of clothes and stands, and the rest of his treasures were beyond counting. In Nanyang there was a man who managed his livelihood in a deep and broad way, and was especially thrifty and stingy by nature. After the winter solstice his son-in-law came to pay his respects, and he laid out only one bronze cup of wine and a few slices of roe deer meat. The son-in-law resented his meagerness and casualness and drank it all in one go. The host was startled, and in the time of a nod ordered more wine, and this happened twice. Afterward he rebuked his daughter, saying: "Master so-and-so likes wine, so you are always poor." After he died, his sons fought over the property and the elder brother even killed the younger. A woman presiding over the household meals should only manage the rites of food, drink, and clothing. A state must not let her take part in government, and a household must not let her run the household. If she has intelligence and talent and understands past and present, she should assist her husband and make up for his lack, and must never be a hen that crows at dawn and brings disaster. Women of Jiangdong hardly ever socialize; families related by marriage may not know each other for ten years or more, and only show their goodwill by letters and gifts. The custom in Yexia is for women alone to take charge of the household, contending over right and wrong in lawsuits and going to call on and cultivate officials, with carriages filling the streets and silks filling the offices, seeking official positions for sons and pleading injustice for husbands; is this a remnant of the customs of Hengdai? In the south, poor and plain families all emphasize outward ornament, and carriages and clothes must be neat, while the family's wives cannot avoid hunger and cold; in Hebei most affairs are decided by the inner household, and silks, gold, and kingfisher feathers cannot be lacking, while thin horses and worn-out servants are merely there to fill the number. In the rites of mutual response, they sometimes address each other as "you" and "thou". Hebei women's work in weaving, braiding, and the craftsmanship of embroidered, brocaded, and silk fabrics greatly surpasses Jiangdong's. Taigong said: "Raising too many daughters is a burden." Chen Fan said: "Thieves do not pass the gate of a house with five daughters." The burden of daughters is deep enough. Yet Heaven produces the multitudes of the people, and it is a body passed down by the forebears, so what can be done? People of the world often do not raise daughters, killing their own flesh and blood; should one who does so expect blessings from Heaven? I have a [the source text has a rare character here, lost in transcription] relative whose household has many singing girls and concubines; when the birth was due he sent a gatekeeper to watch, and at the slightest discomfort he peered through the window and leaned on the door, and if a girl was born she was carried off at once, the mother wailing after her, and no one dared to rescue her, so that it was unbearable to hear. The nature of women is mostly to favor sons-in-law and mistreat daughters-in-law. If they favor sons-in-law, the resentment of brothers arises; if they mistreat daughters-in-law, the slander of sisters takes effect. Thus whether a daughter marries out or remains, she offends the household, and in truth it is caused by the mother. So there is a proverb: "The lonely mother-in-law's meal." This is retribution. The constant in a household. [The source text has a rare character here, lost in transcription.] Can one not be warned? Marriage should be between families of matching standing, which is a rule set down by Marquis Jing. In recent times there are even those who sell daughters to take in wealth and buy brides with silk, comparing fathers and grandfathers and counting every ounce, demanding much and returning little, no different from the marketplace. Sometimes a vulgar son-in-law enters the house, or an arrogant wife takes over the room; seeking glory and profit but bringing shame instead, can one not be careful? In borrowing others' books one must take care of them, and if there is already damage, one should repair it; this too is one of the hundred conducts of a scholar-official. Jiang Lu of Jiyang did not finish reading, and even when something urgent happened he always waited until the scroll was bundled neatly before rising, so there was no damage, and people did not tire of his coming to borrow. Some leave books scattered on the desk and the sets in disarray, and they are mostly stained [the source text has a rare character here, lost in transcription] by children and maids and damaged by wind, rain, and insects [the source text has a rare character here, lost in transcription], which is truly a loss of virtue. Whenever I read the books of the sages, I have never failed to face them with solemn respect; scrap paper that has the wording of the Five Classics or the names of the worthy and accomplished I do not dare to use for filthy purposes. In my family, shamans' prayers are never discussed, and talismans, writs, and ritual offerings are not used for supplication, as you have all seen; do not spend resources on superstition and falsehood.

吾觀禮經聖人之教箕箒箸咳唾唯諾執燭沃盥皆有節度亦為至矣但既殘缺非復全書其有所不載及世事變改者學達君子自為節度相承行之故世號士大夫風操而家門頗有不同所見互稱長短然其阡陌亦自可知昔在江南目能視而見之耳能聴而聞之蓬生麻中不勞翰墨汝曹生於戎馬之間視聴之所不曉故聊記録以傳示子孫禮雲見似目瞿聞名心瞿有所感觸惻愴心眼若在從容平常之地幸須申其情耳必不可避亦當忍之猶如伯叔兄弟酷類先人可得終身腸斷與之絶耶又臨文不諱廟中不諱君所無私諱葢知聞名須有消息不必期於顛沛而走也梁世謝舉甚有聲舉聞諱必哭為世所譏又臧逢世臧嚴之子也篤學修行不墜門風孝元經牧江州遣往建昌督事郡縣民庶競修牋書朝夕輻輳几案盈積書有稱嚴寒者必對之流涕不省取記多廢公事物情怨駭竟以不辦而還此並過事也近在楊都有一士人諱審而與沈氏交結周厚沈與其書名而不姓此非人情也凡避諱者皆湏得其同訓以代換之桓公名白博有五皓之稱厲王名長琴有修短之目不聞謂布帛為布皓呼腎腸為腎修也梁武小名阿練子孫皆呼練為絹乃謂銷鏈物為銷絹物恐乖其義或有諱雲者呼紛紜為紛煙有諱桐者呼梧桐樹為白鐵樹便似戲笑耳周公名子曰禽孔子名兒曰鯉止在其身自可無禁至若衛侯魏公子楚太子皆名蟣蝨長卿名犬子王脩名狗子上有連及理未為通古之所行今之所笑也北土多有名兒為驢駒豚子者使其自稱及兄弟所名亦何忍哉前漢有尹翁歸後漢有鄭翁歸梁家亦有孔翁歸又有顧翁寵晉代有許思妣孟少孤如此名字幸當避之今人避諱更急於古名子者當為孫地吾親識中有諱襄諱友諱同諱清諱和諱禹交防造次一座百犯聞者辛苦無僇頼焉昔司馬長卿慕藺相如故名相如顧元歆慕蔡邕故名雍而後漢有朱張字孫卿許暹字顔回梁世有庾晏嬰祖孫登連古人姓為名字亦鄙事也昔劉文饒不忍罵奴為畜產今世愚人遂以相戲或有指名為豚犢者有識傍觀猶欲掩耳況名之者乎近在議曹共平章百官秩祿有一顯貴當世名臣意嫌所議過厚齊朝有一兩士族文學之人謂此貴曰今日天下大同須為百代典式豈得尚作闗中舊意乎明公定是陶朱公大兒耳彼此歡笑不以為嫌昔侯霸之子孫稱其祖父曰家公陳思王稱其父為家父母為家母潘尼稱其祖曰家祖古人之所行今人之所笑也及南北風俗言其祖及二親無雲家者田裡偎人方有此言耳凡與人言言已世父以次第稱之不雲家者以尊於父不敢家也凡言姑姊妹女子子已嫁則以夫氏稱之在室則以次第稱之言禮成他族不得雲家也子孫不得稱家者輕略之也蔡邕書集呼其姑女為家姑家姊班固書集亦云家孫今並不行也凡與人言稱彼祖父母世父母父母及長姑皆加尊字自叔父已下則加賢字尊卑之差也王羲之書稱彼之母與自稱己母同不雲尊字今所非也南人冬至嵗首不詣喪家若不修書則過節束帶以

Looking at the teachings of the sages in the Book of Rites: dustpan and broom, chopsticks, [the source text has a rare character here, lost in transcription], coughing, spitting, saying yes, holding a candle and pouring water for washing, all have their measure, and it may be called reaching the utmost. But the text is already incomplete and no longer a whole book; what it does not record and what has changed in worldly affairs, learned gentlemen decide for themselves and carry on and practice in succession, which is why the world calls them the manners of scholar-officials, and the families differ considerably, each seeing the others' strengths and weaknesses, yet the path can naturally be known. In the past in Jiangnan, whatever the eyes could see they saw, and whatever the ears could hear they heard; like mugwort growing among hemp, there was no need to trouble brush and ink. You were born among war horses, and your sight and hearing may not know these things, so I have written down a few for my descendants. The Book of Rites says: when one sees someone similar the eyes are startled, and when one hears the name the heart is startled. When something moves one, sorrow is in the heart and eyes. If in a leisurely, everyday setting, one hopes to be able to express this feeling; if it cannot be avoided, one should restrain it. Take, for example, uncles and brothers who look very much like the late parent; could one spend one's life heartbroken and cut off relations with them? Also, one does not avoid names when writing, nor in the temple, and before the ruler there is no private avoidance; thus it can be known that on hearing a name one must look at the circumstances, and need not necessarily rush about in distress. In the Liang dynasty Xie Ju had a great reputation, but on hearing the avoided name he always wept, and was mocked by people of the time. Also Zang Fengshi, son of Zang Yan, studied earnestly and refined his conduct, and did not let down the family tradition. When Emperor Xiaoyuan administered Jiangzhou, he sent him to Jianchang to supervise affairs; the commoners of commanderies and counties competed to write letters, converging morning and evening, and piling up on the desk. When a letter said "severe cold" he always wept over it, did not examine it or take notes, and neglected much official business, and the people were resentful and shocked, and in the end he returned because he did not handle the work. These were all excessive. Recently in Yangdu there was a scholar who avoided the name "Shen," yet he was deeply connected with the Shen family; when a Shen wrote to him, he wrote only the given name and not the surname, which was not human feeling. In all avoidance of names, one must substitute a word of the same meaning. Duke Huan's name was Bai, but the Bo (a game piece) had the name "five whites"; King Li's name was Chang, but the zither had the term "long and short." I have never heard of calling cloth "bolt-white" or kidneys and intestines "kidney-long." Emperor Wu of Liang's childhood name was Alian, and his descendants all called lian (white silk) "juan" (silk), and so called melting and refining things "melting-silk things," which I fear deviates from the original meaning. Someone avoided the name "yun" (cloud) and called confusion "fen-yan" (disorder-smoke); someone avoided "tong" (paulownia) and called the wutong tree the "white-iron tree," which is like a joke. The Duke of Zhou gave his son the name Qin (bird), and Confucius gave his son the name Li (carp); it was only for themselves, and naturally there is no need to forbid it. As for the Marquis of Wei, the Prince of Wei, and the Crown Prince of Chu all having names meaning lice, Changqing being named Quanzi (puppy), and Wang Xiu being named Gouzi (puppy), where it extends to the ancestors above, the principle cannot be made to work. What was done in ancient times is laughed at by people today. In the northern lands many give their sons names such as Luju (donkey colt) or Tunzi (piglet), letting him call himself that and his brothers call him that; how could one bear it? In the Former Han there was Yin Wenggui, in the Later Han Zheng Wenggui, in the Liang family there was also Kong Wenggui and Gu Wengchong, and in the Jin there were Xu Sibi and Meng Shaogu; such names, fortunately, should be avoided. People today avoid names more urgently than the ancients; when naming sons, one should leave room for grandsons. Among my relatives and acquaintances there are those who avoid Xiang, You, Tong, Qing, He, and Yu; in hurried exchanges [the source text has a rare character here, lost in transcription], a hundred offenses occur at one table, and those who hear it suffer and have nothing to rely on. In the past Sima Changqing admired Lin Xiangru and so took the name Xiangru, and Gu Yuantan admired Cai Yong and so took the name Yong, and in the Later Han there were Zhu Zhang with the style Sunqing and Xu Xian with the style Yan Hui, and in the Liang there were Yu Yanying and Zu Sundeng, linking the surnames of the ancients into names, which is also a vulgar thing. In the past Liu Wenrao could not bear to scold a slave as "livestock," but foolish people of today even use it to tease one another, and some even name another "piglet" or "calf"; a discerning bystander would want to cover his ears, to say nothing of the one being called. Recently, in the Bureau of Deliberation, officials were discussing together the salaries of the hundred officials; one high-ranking man, a famous minister of the day, felt in his heart that the proposal was too generous. One or two scholars of literary talent from the gentry of Qi said to this noble: "Today the whole world is united and we must set a model for a hundred generations; how can we still follow the old ideas of Guanzhong? Your Excellency must surely be the eldest son of Tao Zhugong." They laughed together and did not take offense. In the past the descendants of Hou Ba called their grandfather "jiagong", the Prince of Chensi called his father "jiafu" and mother "jiamu", and Pan Ni called his grandfather "jiazu"; what the ancients did is laughed at by people today. When it comes to the customs of north and south, in speaking of grandfathers and both parents no one says "jia", and only rustics in the fields have such talk. In speaking with others, when referring to one's own uncles one calls them in order without saying "jia", because they are senior to the father and one does not dare call them "jia". When speaking of aunts, sisters, daughters, and the like, if married one refers to them by the husband's family's surname, and if still at home by order of birth, meaning that once the rites are complete they belong to another clan, and one must not say "jia". Descendants must not be called "jia", for it treats them lightly. Cai Yong's collected writings call aunts and daughters "jiagu" and "jiajie", and Ban Gu's collection also says "jiasun" (grandson), but now all this is no longer practiced. In speaking with others, when referring to the other person's grandparents, uncles and aunts, parents, and eldest aunts, one adds the word "zun" (honored), and from paternal uncles of lower rank downward one adds the word "xian" (worthy), which marks the difference between senior and junior. Wang Xizhi in writing letters referred to the other person's mother the same as to his own mother, without saying "zun", but now this is considered incorrect. Southerners at the winter solstice and the new year do not go to a house in mourning; if they do not write a letter, then after the festival they put on their sash and go

申慰北人至嵗之日重行吊禮禮無明文則吾不取南人賓至不迎相見捧手而不揖送客下席而已北人迎送並至門相見則揖古之道也吾善其迎揖昔者王侯自稱孤寡不穀自茲以降雖孔子聖師與門人言皆稱名也後雖有臣僕之稱行者葢亦寡焉江南輕重各有謂號具諸書儀北人多稱名者乃古之遺風吾善其稱名焉言及先人理當感慕古者之所易今人之所難江南事不獲已乃陳文墨防防無言者須言閥閱必以文翰罕有面論者北人無何便爾話說及相訪問如此之事不可加於人也人加諸巳則當避之名位未髙如為勲貴所逼隠忍方便速報取了勿取煩重感辱祖父若沒言須及者則斂容肅坐稱大門中世父叔父則稱從兄弟門中兄弟則稱亡者子某門中各以其尊卑輕重為容色之節皆變於常若與君言雖變於色猶雲亡祖亡伯亡叔也吾見名士亦有呼其亡兄弟為兄子弟子門中者亦未為安貼也北土都不行此太山羊偘梁初入南吾近至鄴其兄子肅訪偘委曲吾答之雲卿從門中在梁如此如此肅曰是我親第七亡叔非從也祖孝微在坐先知江南風俗乃謂之雲賢從弟門中何故不解古人皆呼伯父叔父而今世多單呼伯叔從兄弟姊妹已孤而對其前呼其母為伯叔母此不可避者也兄弟之子已孤與他人言對孤者前呼為兄子弟子頗為不忍北土多呼為侄案爾雅喪服經左傳侄名雖通男女並是對姑之稱晉世已來始呼叔侄今呼為侄於理為勝也別易防難古人所重江南餞送下泣言離有王子侯梁武帝弟出為東郡與武帝別帝曰我年已老與汝分張甚心惻愴數行淚下侯遂宻雲赧然而出坐此被責飄颻舟渚一百許日卒不得去北間風俗不屑此事岐路言離歡笑分首然人性自有少涕淚者腸雖欲絶目猶爛然如此之人不可強責凡親屬名稱皆須粉墨不可濫也無風教者其父已孤呼外祖父母與祖父母同使人為其不喜聞也雖質於面皆當加外以別之父母之世叔父皆當加其次第以別之父母之世叔母皆當加其姓以別之父母之群從世叔父母及從祖父母皆當加其爵位若姓以別之河北士人皆呼外祖父母為家公家母江南田裡間亦言之以家代外非吾所識凡宗親世數有從父有從祖有族祖江南風俗自茲已往髙秩者通呼為尊同昭穆者雖百世猶稱兄弟若對他人稱之皆雲族人河北士人雖三二十世猶呼為從伯從叔梁武帝嘗問一中土人曰卿北人何故不知有族答雲骨肉易踈不忍言族耳當時雖為敏對於禮未通吾嘗問周讓曰父母中外姊妹何以稱之周曰亦呼為丈人自古未見丈人之稱施於婦人也吾親表所行若父屬者為某姓姑母屬者為某姓姨中外丈人之婦猥俗呼為丈母士大夫謂之王母謝母雲而陸機集有與長沙顧母書乃其從叔母也今所不行齊朝士子皆呼祖防射為祖公全不嫌有所涉也乃有對面以相戲者古者名以正體字以表德名終則諱之字乃可以為孫氏孔子弟子記事者皆稱仲尼呂后微時嘗字髙祖為季至漢袁種字其叔父曰絲王丹與侯霸子語字霸為君房江南至今不諱字也河北士人全不辨之名亦呼為字字固因呼為字尚書王元之兄弟皆號名人其父名雲字羅漢一皆諱之其餘不足怪也禮間傳云斬縗之哭若往而不反齊縗之哭若往而反大功之哭三哭而偯小功緦麻哀容可也此哀之發於聲音也孝經云哭不哀皆論哭有輕重質文之聲也禮以哭有言者為號然則哭亦有辭也江南喪哭時有哀訴之言耳山東重喪則唯呼蒼天朞功以下則唯呼痛深便是號而不哭江南凡遭重喪若相知者同在城邑三日不弔則絶之除喪雖相遇則避之怨其不已憫也有故及道遙者致書可也無書亦如之北俗則不爾江南凡吊者主人之外不識者不執手識輕服而不識主人則不於會所而吊他日脩名詣其家隂陽說雲辰為水墓又為土墓故不得哭王充論衡雲辰日不哭哭則重喪今無教者辰日有喪不問輕重舉家清謐不敢發聲以辭弔客道書又曰晦歌朔哭皆當有罪天奪之算喪家朔望哀感彌深寧當惜壽又不哭也亦不論偏傍之書死有歸煞子孫逃竄莫肯在家畫瓦書符作諸厭勝喪出之日門前然火戸外列灰袚送家鬼章斷注連凢如此比不近有情乃儒雅之罪人彈議所當加也已孤而履嵗及長至之節無父拜母祖父母世叔父母姑兄姊則皆泣無母拜父外祖父母舅姨兄姊亦如之此人情也江左朝臣子孫初釋服朝見二宮皆當泣涕二宮為之改容頗有膚色充澤無哀感者梁武薄其為人多被抑退裴政出服問訊武帝貶瘦枯槁涕泗滂沱武帝目送之曰裴之禮不死也二親既歿所居齋寢子與婦弗忍入焉北朝頓邱李構母劉氏夫人亡後所住之堂終身鏁閉弗忍開入也夫人宋廣州刺史纂之孫女故構猶染江南風教其父奬為州刺史鎮壽春遇害構嘗與王松年祖孝徵數人同集談防孝徵善畫遇有紙筆圖寫為人頃之因割鹿尾戲截畫人以示構而無他意構愴然動色便起就馬而去舉坐驚駭莫測其情祖君尋悟方深反側當時罕有能感此者吳郡陸襄父閒被刑襄終身布衣蔬飯雖姜菜有切割皆不忍食居家唯以掐摘供廚江陵姚子篤母以燒死終身不忍噉炙豫章熊康父以醉而為奴所殺終身不復嘗酒然禮縁人情恩由義斷親以噎死亦當不可絶食禮經父之遺書母之杯圏感其手口之澤不忍讀用政為常所講習讎校繕冩及偏加服用有跡可思者耳若尋常墳典為生什物安可悉廢之乎既不讀用無容散逸唯當緘保以留後世耳思魯等第四舅母親吳郡張建女也有第五妹三嵗喪母靈床上屏風平生舊物屋漏沾溼出曝曬之女子一見伏床流涕家人怪其不起乃往抱持薦席淹漬精神傷怛不能飲食將以問醫醫診脈雲腸斷矣因爾便吐血數日而亡中外憐之莫不悲嘆禮雲忌日不樂正以感慕罔極惻愴無聊故不接外賓不理眾務耳必能悲慘自居何限於深藏也世人或端坐奧室不妨言笑盛營甘美厚供齋食迫有急卒宻戚至交盡無相見之理葢不知禮意乎魏世王修母以社日亡來嵗社修感念哀甚隣裡聞之為之罷社今二親喪亡偶值伏臘分至之節及月小晦後忌之外所經此日猶應感慕異於餘辰不預飲防聞聲樂及行遊也劉縚緩綏兄弟併為名器其父名昭一生不為照字唯依爾雅火傍作召耳然凢文與正諱相犯當自可避其有同音異字不可悉然劉字之下即有昭音呂尚之兒如不為上趙壹之子儻不作一便是下筆即妨是書皆觸也嘗有甲設防席請乙為賓而旦於公庭見乙之子問之曰尊侯早晩顧宅乙子稱其父已往時以為笑如此比例觸類慎之不可陷於輕脫江南風俗兒生一朞為制新衣盥浴裝飭男則用弓矢

... to express condolences. Northerners, on the first day of the year, perform the condolence rite again; since the ritual texts do not prescribe it, I do not adopt it. Southerners do not go out to greet guests who arrive; when they meet they hold up their joined hands without bowing, and when seeing a guest off they merely step down from the mat; Northerners both greet and see off guests at the door, and bow when they meet, which is the way of the ancients, and I approve of their greeting and bowing. Anciently kings and marquises called themselves Gu, Gua and Bugu (the lonely one, the solitary one, the unworthy one); from then on, even a sage-teacher like Confucius, when speaking with his disciples, called himself by name. Later, although there were titles of ministers and servants, in practice they were probably rarely used. In Jiangnan there are titles for lighter and heavier occasions, all written in the books of correspondence forms; Northerners mostly use personal names, which is a remnant of ancient custom, and I approve of their using names. As for speaking of one's forebears, it is proper to feel longing and reverence, and what was easy for the ancients is hard for people today. In Jiangnan, only when unavoidable do people resort to written words, (a rare character in the base text, lost in transcription) (a rare character in the base text, lost in transcription) silent; if they must speak of lineage and rank they always do so in writing, and seldom discuss it face to face; Northerners, when they have nothing to do, speak up and visit one another. Such things should not be imposed on others; and when others impose them on oneself, one should avoid them. If one's name and rank are not yet high and one is pressed by the powerful and noble, one should endure it, find a convenient way, and hurry to settle it in reply, without seeking to make it heavy and troublesome, lest one embarrass one's grandfather and father. If one must speak of someone already dead, one composes one's expression and sits solemnly, and says "of the main house"; for the elder or younger paternal uncle one says "of the house of the cousins"; for brothers one calls the deceased "of the house of the son so-and-so," adjusting the look on one's face according to seniority and weight, all different from the usual. If speaking with one's ruler, although one changes one's expression, one still says the late grandfather, the late elder uncle, the late younger uncle. I have seen famous scholars also call a deceased brother "of the house of the brother's son or younger brother's son," which is also not fitting. In the northern lands none of this is practiced. Yang Kan of Taishan had just come south to Liang; recently when I went to Ye, his brother's son Su came to ask me about Yang Kan's circumstances, and I answered him: "Your cousin of the house, in Liang, is thus and so." Su said: "He is my own seventh uncle, deceased, not a cousin." Zu Xiaozheng was present and already knew the customs of Jiangnan, and so said to him: "The cousin of your worthy house, why do you not understand?" The ancients all called them elder father's brother and younger father's brother, while people now often say simply Bo and Shu. When cousins, male and female, are orphaned, to call their mother "paternal aunt by marriage" to their faces is unavoidable. When a brother's child is already orphaned, in speaking with others or in front of the orphan, calling him "brother's son" or "younger brother's son" is very hard to bear. In the northern lands many call them "zhi." According to the Erya, the Mourning Garments Classic and the Zuo Commentary, although the word zhi is used for both male and female, it is in all cases a term used toward a paternal aunt. Only since the Jin dynasty have people called uncle and nephew Shu and Zhi; today calling them zhi is better in principle. Parting is difficult (a rare character in the base text, lost in transcription), and the ancients valued it. In Jiangnan, when seeing someone off, people shed tears and speak of separation. There was a prince-marquis who was a younger brother of Emperor Wu of Liang, who went out to be governor of Dong Commandery and took his leave of Emperor Wu. The emperor said: "I am already old, and parting from you saddens my heart." Several lines of tears fell. The marquis then whispered something in secret and went out blushing, and for this was rebuked, and drifted in boats on the islets for over a hundred days and in the end could not leave. In the northern regions custom scorns this, and at the fork of the road they speak of parting and part with laughter. Yet human nature naturally includes people who shed few tears, whose eyes remain bright even though their bowels seem about to break, and such people should not be forcibly blamed. All kinship terms must be distinguished as clearly as black from white, and not used loosely. People without good upbringing, when the father is already dead, call maternal grandparents the same as paternal grandparents, which people dislike hearing. Even when questioned face to face, one should add "maternal" to distinguish. For the father's and mother's paternal uncles, one should add an order of seniority to distinguish; for their paternal aunts by marriage, one should add the surname; for the father's and mother's cousins' uncles and aunts and for great-uncles and great-aunts, one should add the title or surname to distinguish. Scholars of Hebei all call maternal grandparents "jia gong" and "jia mu" (family grandfather, family grandmother), and in the countryside of Jiangnan they say the same, using "family" in place of "maternal," which I do not understand. As for the generations of the clan, there are "cong fu" (father's cousins), "cong zu" (grandfather's cousins) and "zu zu" (clan grandfathers). In Jiangnan custom, from this point on, those of high rank are generally called "honored"; those of the same generation, even after a hundred generations, are still called brothers, and when speaking of them to others, they are all called "clan members." Scholars of Hebei, even after twenty or thirty generations, still call them cong bo and cong shu. Emperor Wu of Liang once asked a man of the Central Plains: "You are a Northerner, why do you not know there is such a thing as a clan?" He answered: "Flesh and blood easily grow distant, and I cannot bear to speak of a clan." Although it was counted a quick answer at the time, it did not accord with ritual. I once asked Zhou (a rare character in the base text, lost in transcription) Rang: "What do you call the sisters of one's father's and mother's side?" Zhou said: "They are also called 'zhang ren.'" Since ancient times the term zhang ren has not been seen applied to women. In what my own maternal relatives practice, if on the father's side they are called Aunt of such a surname, and if on the mother's side Aunt by marriage of such a surname. The wives of those called zhang ren on either side are vulgarly called "zhang mu," while gentry and officials call them Wang Mu, Xie Mu and so on. The Collected Works of Lu Ji contains a letter to Gu Mu of Changsha, who was his paternal uncle's wife, but this is not done now. In the Qi dynasty, scholars all called Zu (a rare character in the base text, lost in transcription) She "Zu Gong," with no concern at all for its associations, and some even used it to tease one another to their faces. In ancient times the name was used to rectify the person and the courtesy name to show virtue; after a person's death his name was tabooed, but his courtesy name could be made into a clan name for his grandsons. Confucius's disciples, in recording events, all called him Zhongni; when Empress Lu was of humble status she once called Emperor Gaozu by his courtesy name Ji; in the Han dynasty Yuan Zhong called his uncle by the courtesy name Si; Wang Dan, in speaking to the son of Hou Ba, called Ba by his courtesy name, Junfang. In Jiangnan to this day the courtesy name is not tabooed. Scholars of Hebei make no distinction at all, calling a name a courtesy name and the courtesy name simply by courtesy name. The brothers of the Director Wang Yuanzhi were all called famous men, and their father's name was Yun and courtesy name Luohan, and they avoided both entirely, so the rest is not surprising. The Record of Rites, Jian Zhuan says: The wailing for the heaviest mourning is like one who goes and does not return; the wailing for the second grade is like one who goes and can return; the wailing for the third grade is in three turns with a lingering note; for the fourth and fifth grades it is enough to show a sorrowful face. This is grief issuing in sound. The Classic of Filial Piety says that in wailing one does not trail the voice, and these all discuss how wailing has sounds of lighter and heavier, plainer and more refined kinds. Ritual calls wailing with words a "hao" (loud lament), so wailing also has words. In Jiangnan, at mourning, there are words of lament; in Shandong, for heavy mourning they only call to blue Heaven, and for the one-year and nine-month grades and below they only cry that the pain is deep, which is lamenting without wailing. In Jiangnan, when anyone suffers heavy mourning, if acquaintances are in the same city and do not come to condole within three days, the bereaved cut off relations with them; after the mourning period, even if they meet they avoid them, resenting that they did not pity them. Those with reasons or at great distance can send a letter; but without a letter it is just like severing relations. Northern custom is not so. In Jiangnan, in condolence calls, one does not take the hand of anyone one does not know besides the host; if one knows a person in light mourning but not the host, one does not condole at the gathering place, but on another day sends in one's name at his house. The yin-yang masters say that the chen day is the tomb of water and also the tomb of earth, so one must not wail. Wang Chong's Lunheng says: do not wail on a chen day, for wailing brings a second death. Now uneducated people, when a death occurs on a chen day, regardless of its weight, keep the whole household quiet and dare not make a sound even to thank the condolence visitors. Daoist books also say: singing on the last day of the month or weeping on the first day of the month are both sins, and Heaven will take away one's lifespan. In houses of mourning, grief runs deeper on the first and fifteenth days; should one spare one's lifespan and not weep? Nor is this to speak of books on side-issues. Some say that the dead have a returning spirit, and the descendants flee and refuse to stay at home, painting tiles and writing talismans to make various charms of suppression, and on the day of the funeral they light fires before the gate and arrange ashes outside the door, purify and send off the household ghost, and sever the links of contagion: all of this is contrary to human feeling, and those who do it are sinners against the refined tradition, subject to impeachment. When one has already been orphaned and the festivals of the new year and the winter solstice come, one who has no father bows to his mother, grandparents, uncles and aunts, and elder brothers and sisters, weeping; one who has no mother bows to his father, maternal grandparents, maternal uncles and aunts, and elder brothers and sisters, likewise. This is human feeling. In Jiangzuo, when the sons and grandsons of court ministers had just removed their mourning garments and attended the two palaces, they were all expected to weep, and the two palaces would change their expression for them. There were quite a few with glowing skin and no sign of grief, and Emperor Wu of Liang looked down on their character, and many were pushed back and sidelined. When Pei Zhi removed his mourning garments and came to pay his respects to Emperor Wu, he was gaunt and haggard, with tears streaming, and the emperor watched him go and said: "Pei Zhi-li has not died." After both parents have died, the son and daughter-in-law cannot bear to enter the study and bedroom where they lived. In the Northern Dynasties, after the death of Lady Liu, mother of Li Gou of Dunqiu, the hall in which she had lived was locked for life and he could not bear to open and enter it. The lady was the granddaughter of Zuan, Governor of Guangzhou in the Song, and so Li Gou was still tinged by the customs of Jiangnan. His father Jiang (a rare character in the base text, lost in transcription) served as governor of a province and was killed while garrisoning Shouchun. Li Gou once gathered with Wang Songnian and Zu Xiaozheng and a few others to talk (a rare character in the base text, lost in transcription); Xiaozheng was good at drawing, and when paper and brush came to hand he drew a portrait of someone, and after a while, as he was cutting a deer's tail, he playfully cut off the drawn person and showed it to Li Gou, with no other intention. Li Gou was stricken and changed color, and at once stood up, mounted his horse and left, and the whole company was astonished, unable to guess his feelings. Lord Zu then realized it and felt deeply uneasy. At the time few people could have been moved by such a thing. Lu Xiang of Wu Commandery, whose father Xian had been put to death, wore plain cloth and ate vegetarian meals all his life, and could not bear to eat even ginger or vegetables that had been cut, and at home used only pinching and picking for the kitchen. Yao Zidu of Jiangling, whose mother was burned to death, could not bear to eat roasted food all his life. Xiong Kang of Yuzhang, whose father was killed by a slave while drunk, never tasted wine again. Yet ritual follows human feeling, and kindness is cut off by righteousness; if a parent chokes to death, one should not for that reason refuse to eat. The Classic of Rites says that a father's books and a mother's cups and bowls, because of the traces of the hand and mouth upon them, one cannot bear to read or use, for these were what they often studied, collated and copied, or used beyond their daily needs, and bear marks to remember them by. If they are ordinary ancient texts or miscellaneous things for making a living, how could one abandon them all? Since one does not read or use them, one should not let them scatter, but should only seal them up and keep them for later generations. The fourth maternal aunt of Silu and the others was the daughter of Zhang Jian of Wu Commandery, and had a fifth younger sister who lost her mother at three; the screen on the bier was an old thing the mother had used all her life, and when the roof leaked and it was wet, it was taken out to air in the sun; the girl on seeing it threw herself on the bed and wept, and the family, wondering why she did not get up, went to hold her, and the mats were all soaked, her spirit was wounded with grief, and she could not eat or drink. They took her to a doctor, who felt her pulse and said her bowels had broken, and she spat blood for several days and died. Relatives near and far pitied her and none did not sigh in grief. The Record of Rites says that on the anniversary of a death one does not take pleasure, precisely because one feels boundless yearning, saddened and without recourse, and so does not receive outside guests or attend to public business. If one can truly behave in sorrow, why should it be limited to hiding deep away? Some people sit upright in a deep room and still talk and laugh, lavishly prepare sweet and rich dishes and offer abundant vegetarian meals, and if urgent matters arise or close relatives and dear friends come, there is no reason at all not to see them; probably they do not know the meaning of ritual. In the Wei dynasty, Wang Xiu's mother died on the day of the earth-god festival, and the next year on the festival day Wang Xiu was overcome by grief, and the neighbors, hearing of it, called off the festival for this reason. Now when parents have died, if one happens upon the festivals of Fu and La, the equinoxes and solstices, and the day after the last day of a short month, the days that pass outside the anniversary should still bring yearning and be different from other days, and one should not take part in drinking (a rare character in the base text, lost in transcription), nor listen to music or go on outings. The Liu brothers Tao, Huan and Sui were all famous men, and their father's name was Zhao, and in all his life he never wrote the character zhao in that form, but followed the Erya in writing it with the fire radical on the side of zhao. Yet any character that offends against the proper taboo naturally should be avoided; those that are the same in sound but differ in character cannot all be treated this way. Under the character Liu there is also the sound zhao; if the son of Lu Shang were not to be named "Shang," or the son of Zhao Yi were not to be called "Yi," then every stroke of the pen would be hindered and every writing would touch a taboo. There was once a man A who set out (a rare character in the base text, lost in transcription) a feast and invited B as guest; in the morning he saw B's son at the public hall and asked him: "When will your honored father honor my humble house with his presence?" B's son said that his father had already gone, and at the time it was taken as a joke. By this example, be careful in similar cases and do not fall into carelessness. In Jiangnan custom, when a son reaches one year of age, a new set of clothes is made for him, he is bathed and dressed up, and for a boy a bow and arrows,

紙筆女則刀尺針縷並加飲食之物及珍寳服玩置之兒前觀其發意所取以驗貪廉愚智名之為試兒親表聚集致防享焉自茲已後二親若在每至此日嘗有酒食之事耳無教之徒雖已孤露其日皆為供頓酣暢聲樂不知有所感傷梁孝元年少之時每八月六日載誕之辰常設齋講自阮修容薨歿之後此事亦絶人有憂疾則呼天地父母自古而然今世諱避觸途急切而江東士庶痛則稱禰禰是父之廟號父在無容稱廟父歿何容輒呼蒼頡篇有倄【下痛交切聲也】字訓詁雲痛而謼也【謼人故反】音羽罪反今北人痛則呼之聲類音於來反今南人痛或呼之此二音隨其鄉俗並可行也梁世被系劾者子孫弟侄皆詣闕三日露跣陳謝子孫有官自陳解職子則草屩粗衣蓬頭垢面周章道路要執事叩頭流血申訴寃枉若配徒諸子並立草菴於所署門不敢迎宅動經旬日官司驅遣然後始退江南諸憲司彈人事事雖不重而以教義見辱者或被輕系而身死獄戸者皆為怨讐子孫三世不交通矣劉洽為御史中丞初欲彈劉孝綽其兄溉先與劉善苦諫不得乃詣劉涕泣告別而去兵防戰危非安全之道古者天子喪服以臨師將軍鑿防門而出父祖伯叔若在軍陣貶損自居不宜奏樂防防及婚冠吉慶事也若居圍城之中憔悴容色除去飾玩常為臨深履薄之狀焉父母疾篤醫雖賤雖少則涕泣而拜之以求哀也梁孝元在江州嘗有不豫世子方等親拜中兵叅軍李猷四海之人結為兄弟亦何容易必有志均義敵令終如始者方可議之一爾之後命子拜伏呼為丈人申父友之敬身事彼親亦宜加禮比見北人甚輕此節行路相逢便定昆季望年觀貌不擇是非至有結父為兄托子為弟者昔者周公一沐三握髮一飯三吐餐以接白屋之士一日所見七十餘人晉文公以沐辭竪頭須致有圖反之誚門不停賓古所貴也失教之家閽寺無禮或以主君寢食嗔怒拒客未通江南深以為恥黃門侍郎裴之禮號善為士大夫有如此輩對賓杖之其門生僮僕接於他人折旋俯仰辭色應對莫不肅敬與主無別也

paper and brush are used, and for a girl a knife, ruler, needle and thread, together with food and drink and precious ornaments and playthings, all placed before the child to see what he reaches for, to test greed or honesty, foolishness or wisdom; this is called "testing the child." Relatives gather, and (a rare character in the base text, lost in transcription) feast. From then on, if the parents are alive, every year on this day there is always food and drink. Uneducated people, even though they are already orphaned, still set out feasts and enjoy music with abandon on this day, without knowing there is anything to be sad about. When Emperor Xiaoyuan of Liang was young, on the sixth day of the eighth month, his birthday, he would always hold a vegetarian assembly and lecture; after the death of Lady Ruan Xiurong, this was also stopped. When people are in distress or illness they call on heaven and earth and their parents, as has been so since ancient times. Today taboos are urgently observed everywhere, yet the scholars and commoners of Jiangdong say "mi" when in pain. Mi is the temple name of one's father; while the father is alive one may not call out the temple name, and after he has died how can one call it out at every turn? The Cangjie Pian has the character (the lower part "tong jiao qie," a sound) which the commentary says is calling out when in pain (read "hu," "ren gu fan"), pronounced "yu zui fan," and today Northerners call this when in pain; the Shenglei pronounces it "yu lai fan," and today Southerners sometimes call this when in pain. Either of these two sounds may follow local custom. In the Liang dynasty, when someone was detained and impeached, his sons, grandsons, brothers and nephews all went to the palace gate for three days, bare-headed and barefoot, and presented their apologies; sons and grandsons who held office petitioned to resign themselves; the sons wore straw sandals and coarse clothes, with disheveled hair and dirty faces, ran about the roads, stopped (a rare character in the base text, lost in transcription) the officials in charge, and kowtowed until they bled, pleading the injustice. If he was sentenced to forced labor (a rare character in the base text, lost in transcription), all the sons stood in straw huts at the door of the government office and dared not go home, and often after ten days or so the officials drove them off and only then did they leave. In Jiangnan, when the various censors impeached someone, even if the matter was not serious, if it was one in which a person was disgraced over a point of ritual and teaching, or one who was lightly imprisoned and died in prison, they became enemies, and the descendants had no dealings for three generations. When Liu Qia was Censor-in-Chief, at first he wished to impeach Liu Xiaochuo; his elder brother Gai, who had earlier been on good terms with Liu, remonstrated hard without success, and went to Liu and left in tears, bidding farewell. War (a rare character in the base text, lost in transcription) is dangerous and not a safe way. In ancient times the Son of Heaven put on mourning clothes when he came to the army, and the general went out through a door he had broken open. If one's father, grandfather, or uncles are in the ranks, one should lower oneself, and it is not fitting to play music (a rare character in the base text, lost in transcription) (a rare character in the base text, lost in transcription), or to hold weddings, capping ceremonies and other auspicious celebrations. If one lives in a besieged city, one should look haggard, remove ornaments and playthings, and always take on the appearance of one standing at the edge of an abyss or treading on thin ice. When parents are gravely ill, even if the doctor is of low rank and young, one weeps and bows to beg for his mercy. When Emperor Xiaoyuan of Liang was in Jiangzhou he once fell ill, and his heir Fangdeng personally bowed to the military adviser Li You. For people of the four seas to become sworn brothers is not easy either; only those of like aims and equal righteousness, who will end as they began, can be consulted about it. Once sworn, one has one's son bow low and call the other "zhang ren" (elder), expressing the respect due to a father's friend; and one should also show courtesy in serving the other's parents oneself. I recently saw Northerners think very little of this point, becoming brothers on meeting in the road, going by age and looks without picking right from wrong, and some even make a father a brother or entrust a son as a younger brother. In the past the Duke of Zhou, in receiving scholars from humble homes, would grasp his hair three times in one bath and spit out his food three times in one meal, and in one day saw over seventy people; Duke Wen of Jin refused to see Shu Touxu on the excuse of bathing, and was mocked for plotting rebellion. Not letting guests wait at the gate was valued by the ancients. Households without proper teaching have gatekeepers who are rude, or turn away guests without announcing them because the master is angry at his rest or meal, which Jiangnan considers deeply shameful. The Gentleman of the Yellow Gate Pei Zhi-li was known as one who was good at being a gentleman and official, and when he met such a person he caned him in front of the guests; his students and servants, in receiving others, in their turning and bowing, their words and expression, were all solemn and respectful, no different from the master.

古人云千載一聖猶旦暮也五百年一賢猶比膊也言聖賢之難得防闊如此儻遭不世明達君子安可不攀附景仰之乎吾生於亂世長於戎馬流離播越聞見已多所值名賢未嘗不心醉魂迷嚮慕之也人在少年神情未定所與欵狎燻漬陶染言笑舉動無心於學潛移暗化自然似之何況操履藝能較明易習者也是以與善人居如入芝蘭之室久而自芳也與惡人居如入鮑魚之肆久而自臭也墨翟悲於染絲是之謂矣君子必慎交遊焉孔子曰無友不如己者顔閔之徒何可世得但優於我便足貴之世人多蔽貴耳賤目重遙輕近少長周旋如有賢哲每相狎侮不加禮敬他鄉異縣微借風聲延頸企踵甚於飢渴校長短核精麤或彼不能如此矣所以魯人謂孔子為東家丘昔虞國宮之竒少長於君君狎之不納其諫以至亡國不可不留心也用其言棄其身古人所恥凡有一言一行取於人者皆顯稱之不可竊人之美以為己力雖輕雖賤者必歸功焉竊人之財刑辟之所處竊人之美鬼神之所責梁孝元前在荊州有丁覘者洪亭民耳頗善屬文殊工草孝元書記一皆使之軍府輕賤多未之重恥令子弟以為楷法時雲丁君十紙不敵王襃數字吾雅愛其手跡常所寳持孝元嘗遣典籖惠編送文章示蕭祭酒祭酒問雲君王比賜書翰及寫詩筆殊為佳手姓名為誰郍得都無聲問編以實答子云嘆曰此人後生無比遂不為世所稱亦是竒事於是聞者少復刮目稍仕至尚書儀曹郎末為晉安王侍讀隨王東下及西臺陷歿簡牘湮散丁亦尋卒於州前所輕者後思一紙不可得矣侯景初入建業臺門雖閉公私草擾各不自全太子左衛率羊侃坐東掖門部分經畧一宿而辦遂得百餘日抗拒凶逆於時城內四萬許人王公朝士不下一百便是恃侃一人安之其相去如此古人云巢父許由讓於天下市道小人爭一錢之利亦已懸矣齊文宣帝即位數年便沈湎縱恣畧無綱紀尚能委政尚書令楊遵彥內外清謐朝野晏如各得其所物無異議終天保之朝遵彥後為李昭所戮刑政於是衰矣斛律明月齊朝折沖之臣無罪被誅將士解體周人始有吞齊之志闗中至今譽之此人用兵豈止萬夫之望而已也國之存亡系其生死張延雋之為晉州行臺左丞匡維主將鎮撫疆場儲積器用愛活黎民隠若敵國矣群小不得行志同力遷之既代之後公私擾亂周師一舉此鎮先平齊亡之跡啟於是矣

The ancients said: a sage appears once in a thousand years, and yet it seems like from morning to night; a worthy appears once in five hundred years, and yet it seems like shoulder against shoulder. This means that sages and worthies are rare and widely spaced (a rare character in the base text, lost in transcription). If one meets an enlightened gentleman rare in the world, how can one not seek to attach oneself and look up to him? I was born in an age of chaos and grew up among warhorses, drifting and moving about, and I have seen and heard much; the famous worthies I have met, I have never failed to admire with a heart intoxicated and soul enraptured. When a person is young, his spirit is not yet settled, and those he befriends and is intimate with soak and shape him, so that without intending to learn their words, laughter and movements, he is subtly and secretly changed until he resembles them; how much more with conduct and skills that are comparatively plain and easily acquired? So to dwell with good people is like entering a room of orchids, and after a long time one is fragrant oneself; to dwell with bad people is like entering a shop of salted fish, and after a long time one stinks oneself. Mo Di grieved at the dyeing of silk, and this is the meaning. The gentleman must be careful in choosing his associates. Confucius said: "Have no friend who is not your equal." People like Yan Hui and Min Sun, in what age could one meet them? So long as someone is better than I am, he is worth valuing. People of the world are often blinded: they value the ear and despise the eye, esteem the far and slight the near. If among those one has moved among since childhood there is a worthy or sage, they often treat him with familiarity and contempt and show him no courtesy or respect; in another place or county, on hearing only a little rumor, they crane their necks and stand on tiptoe, more eager than the hungry and thirsty, comparing long and short and checking fine and coarse, though the other perhaps cannot be so. Thus the people of Lu called Confucius "Qiu of the east house." In the past Gong Zhiqi of the state of Yu grew up from childhood at the ruler's side, and the ruler treated him with familiarity and did not accept his remonstrance, and so the state perished; one should not fail to take note. To use a person's words while casting the person aside is something the ancients were ashamed of. Whenever one has taken a single word or deed from another, one should state it openly, and not steal another's good and take it as one's own effort; even if the person is humble, one must give him credit. Stealing another's property is dealt with by the penal code, but stealing another's good is blamed by the spirits. Emperor Xiaoyuan of Liang was formerly in Jingzhou, and there was a Ding Chan, merely a commoner of Hongting, who wrote very well and was especially skilled in cursive (a rare character in the base text, lost in transcription). Xiaoyuan had him do all his documents. The headquarters despised him and mostly did not value him, and were ashamed to have their sons take him as a model for calligraphy, and at the time it was said: "Ten sheets of Gentleman Ding are no match for a few characters of Wang Bao." I was very fond of his handwriting and often kept it as a treasure. Xiaoyuan once sent the secretary Hui Bian to show his writings to Libationer Xiao, and the Libationer asked: "The letters recently bestowed by the Prince and the poems and prose he wrote, the handwriting is especially fine; who is the person whose name this is, and why is nothing heard of him?" Hui Bian answered truthfully. Xiao Ziyun sighed: "This man is without equal among the younger generation, and yet is not praised by the world, which is also strange." Thereupon those who heard it began to look at him in a new light, and he gradually rose to be Gentleman of the Bureau of Ritual in the Department of State Affairs, and finally Reader-in-Attendance to the Prince of Jin'an, and went east with the Prince of Sui. When the Western Court fell, documents were scattered and lost, and Ding soon died in (a rare character in the base text, lost in transcription) Province. Those who had looked down on him in the past, afterward could not even get a single sheet from him. When Hou Jing first entered Jianye, although the palace gates were shut, the court and the people were in turmoil and none could protect himself. Yang Kan, Commander of the Left Guard of the Crown Prince, was stationed at the Eastern Side Gate, and divided duties and made plans, which were settled in one night, and so was able to resist the rebels for over a hundred days. At that time there were over forty thousand people in the city, and princes, dukes and court officials numbered no fewer than a hundred, yet it was Kan alone who steadied them; such was the difference. The ancients said: Chao Fu and Xu You gave up the world, while petty people at the market fight over a single coin's profit, and already they are far apart. Emperor Wenxuan of Qi, a few years after taking the throne, indulged himself in drink and excess with no regard for rules, and yet he could still entrust state affairs to the Director of the Secretariat Yang Zunyan, so that inside and outside were calm and clear, court and country were at ease, each found his place, things had no discord, and so it lasted through the whole Tianbao reign. Zunyan was later put to death by Emperor Xiaozhao, and from then on law and government declined. Hulu Mingyue was a minister who warded off enemies for the Qi dynasty, and was executed without guilt, so the soldiers fell apart, and only then did the Zhou people form the ambition to swallow up Qi, and in Guanzhong he is praised to this day. In war, this man was not only the hope of tens of thousands of men; the survival of the state depended on his life or death. Zhang Yanjun, as Left Assistant of the Branch Secretariat at Jinzhou, supported and held together the commander, garrisoned the frontier, stored up supplies and equipment, and loved and kept the people alive, so that he was quietly like a state of his own. The group of petty men could not carry out their will and joined forces to have him transferred. After his replacement, public and private affairs fell into confusion, and when the Zhou army moved, this garrison was the first to fall. The signs of Qi's fall began from here.